I’ve felt a slow but sure grinding down of the inner spirit, especially in the past week.

Subdued is what I would describe it as.

I caught signs of it, but it really took someone to tell me the honest truth that something in my spirit has changed. And I’m thankful that I have people positioned around me who are willing and ready to speak into my life.

Even at Church Wide Leaders on Thursday, I was weary not only physically, but in mind and spirit. But I was looked after. I remember Ps Juni checking in with me, conversations with some of the Welcome team, God speaking through Ps Andrew when he prayed for me, and Ps Matt Fielder bringing a Word in season.

And today this caught my attention.

Hebrews 10:35-36 NIV

So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.

When Ps Andrew prayed over me, there were several things that God spoke to me…

  • You have never disappointed me.
  • You are loyal.
  • You yearn for more.
  • You have a heart that longs to serve.
  • This season is a season of much harvest. The sowing has been done. It is time for the abundant harvest of your family that has not yet been saved.

I was utterly gobsmacked and overwhelmed by God’s love.

To know what the Father sees in me in the midst of my failure and brokenness.

To be reminded of the amount of pride God has in me.

To have the King of Kings, Lord of Lords call me loyal. To have Him say that I’ve NEVER disappointed Him.


And the things in the days to come that He speaks of. Indeed the Father’s promises are good, and they endure for all eternity.

Sometimes the journey gets a little wayward, twisted, and looks like nothing like you envisioned it to be. You might think you’ve taken a wrong turn or two, or that you have completely lost your way.

You find your fists clenched tight. You find yourself floundering, thrashing on the surface like a fish out of water.

Perspective change.

Perhaps it’s merely a detour. Or simply a stripping away of things that need putting down. Or even a process of going through the fire that refines, the iron that sharpens.

For you are no mistake.

Again and again I hear it spoken by different people in different situations: You are here for a purpose. In this time and place.

You are born for a time like this.

So, start over.

Start over.

Let go, dive deep and immerse.

Emerge again. Secure, safe, free.

For I know there is a promise made even before the beginning of Time itself. That speaks of renewal. An everlasting covenant of Love, and of forgiveness.

A hope. A joy. A Love. That perseveres despite.

That always breaks through, pushes through. That always makes a way.

Just to hammer the point home, this was in today’s !Audacious devotional, courtesy of Ps Chip Kendall.

Ray /reɪ/   Geometry – A line with a start point, but no end point (it goes to infinity).

Geometrically speaking, God’s love is a ray that starts at the cross and knows no end.

For I know, I know the One who will never leave nor forsake me.

I am loved.

And so are you.


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