“We’ve never been this way before.”
Ps Sophia’s voice resonates in my memory from that preach a few weeks ago.

I’ve never been this way before.

I feel like an odd peg. Day-to-day matters don’t look the same. Finding the space for my own devotional time. Starting at a new church. Getting into a new rhythm.

Momentum. I just can’t shake the cry of my heart that I want to hit the ground running.

I can’t deny that the frustration of re-entry is real. The monster of Comparison beckoning at every corner.

But in the mess of my humanity, His voice reminds me, “You are on a mission. You’ve always been on a mission. You have been called, set apart…” and He reminds me of who I am. Of who I am in Christ.

I remember Paul telling me repeatedly with an undeniable sense of urgency (almost pleading) at that Belonging night: “It’s never about what you can do. It’s about who you are.”

It’s like you knew, Paul.
No… God, You knew.

Loved one after loved one shared what God placed on their hearts for me in the days leading up to me leaving Manchester.

“Shot out like an arrow. …Exciting times just riding the waves with Him after battling through the storms. … Shaking the foundations. …Building home. …”

You knew, Father.
You always did.

And in the throes of the struggles in my heart and my soul, I cry out:

“Stir my heart for this city, for this nation I call home. I am called for a time like this. Break my heart for Singapore. Let my heart be captivated by the people of this nation.”

I am born for more.
It’s never about what I can do;
But who I am.

I am Yours.


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