Long overdue post.
I really wanted to write something after the last !Audacious Young Adults Belonging night (which was meant to be my last but isn’t really now), but never really got down to it.
(See http://on.fb.me/1Gt7nmd for photos from the night.)
I remember Paul asking me out of the blue on the Sunday prior to the Belonging to share my journey over the past 3 years, seeing as it was going to be my last.
My instantaneous reaction was “ah erm.. what?”. As you do. But after some reassurance, I decided to go for it. I remember praying with some of the girls in the foyer whilst we are setting up for Tuesday.
Once I got home till the Tuesday, I just soaked myself in God’s Presence. Seeking His face, asking for His Spirit to fill me, to put the words in my mouth.
I remember distinctly hearing Him say “I’m not done with you yet.”
That it was only the beginning – my time here. The lead up to even greater things.
Psalm 40 was yet another word that the Father placed in my heart.
Psalm 40 (NIV)
For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.
I waited patiently for the Lord;
he turned to me and heard my cry.
2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
3 He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear the Lord
and put their trust in him.
4 Blessed is the one
who trusts in the Lord,
who does not look to the proud,
to those who turn aside to false gods.[b]
5 Many, Lord my God,
are the wonders you have done,
the things you planned for us.
None can compare with you;
were I to speak and tell of your deeds,
they would be too many to declare.
6 Sacrifice and offering you did not desire—
but my ears you have opened[c]—
burnt offerings and sin offerings[d] you did not require.
7 Then I said, “Here I am, I have come—
it is written about me in the scroll.[e]
8 I desire to do your will, my God;
your law is within my heart.”
9 I proclaim your saving acts in the great assembly;
I do not seal my lips, Lord,
as you know.
10 I do not hide your righteousness in my heart;
I speak of your faithfulness and your saving help.
I do not conceal your love and your faithfulness
from the great assembly.
11 Do not withhold your mercy from me, Lord;
may your love and faithfulness always protect me.
12 For troubles without number surround me;
my sins have overtaken me, and I cannot see.
They are more than the hairs of my head,
and my heart fails within me.
13 Be pleased to save me, Lord;
come quickly, Lord, to help me.
14 May all who want to take my life
be put to shame and confusion;
may all who desire my ruin
be turned back in disgrace.
15 May those who say to me, “Aha! Aha!”
be appalled at their own shame.
16 But may all who seek you
rejoice and be glad in you;
may those who long for your saving help always say,
“The Lord is great!”
17 But as for me, I am poor and needy;
may the Lord think of me.
You are my help and my deliverer;
you are my God, do not delay.
Indeed. I am not made to stay silent. I am meant to speak of His faithfulness. To let my light shine in order that He may be glorified.
My favourite quote by Marianne Williamson was brought to the surface:
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
- A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles”, Ch. 7, Section 3 (1992), p. 190.
We are meant to shine. We have been marked in Him with a seal. Chosen, set apart, renewed for a purpose.
And most importantly, we are loved by an Almighty God. A Father who is jealous for us.
And we are called to love another.
Our walk is not merely our own.
I was so thankful I got to share my heart, to share my story.
It was so humbling – to realise that like the boy in the account of the 5 loaves and 2 fishes, we are called to be part of the miracle. That when we choose to walk out upon the water, to go into the deep… The Father beckons us on to join Him in bringing about the miraculous.
I got to pray with the people I love. To have those conversations that matter.
There was no better way to bring some sort of close to my journey here.
And the next Belonging will be yet another level as God takes us even deeper with Him.
Yes 7 July, doors open at 7pm at !Audacious Church. Food from Cafe Horchata, coffee & icecream from Grindsmiths. Ps Glyn bringing a powerful word.
You’ve got to be there.
Don’t miss it for the world. Bring the people you love.
See you there.