I was in the secret place and a question popped into my head: “What would I actually ask God when I meet Him in heaven?”
I thought long and hard. And I realised I didn’t have anything I really wanted to ask. I know lots of people talk about how they want to ask why God let certain things happen, etc.
And then I thought… I just want to ask Him how much He loves me. Just because I want to hear it all for real. I know it’s written in the Bible. But imagine: standing face-to-face with the Father and having Him tell you the depths, widths, lengths of His love for you. That’d be amazing.
Little did I know…
A nagging feeling started to arise in my spirit. Why this question? Why do I really want to ask this question?
I’ve been watching a Korean variety show where they make celebrity dads (think: actors, MMA boxers) take care of their young child(ren) for 48h without mum around. The kids are cute and what happens is 50% hilarious, 50% heartwarming.
But today, God showed me why I truly enjoy it so much – I’ve missed making the same memories with my own dad.
I remember kicking a football around with him in a park. I remember watching football on the TV with him. I remember going about Clarke Quay with him as a kid, going to classes and buying stickers (I had a thing for collecting stickers as a kid lol). I remember family holidays to various countries – Australia, Korea etc. I remember school award ceremonies and he’d be there. I remember having to go to a friend’s funeral as a 14-year-old – and he went with me. …and so on.
And somewhere along the way, it just went wrong. I started to feel distant. I started to feel disappointment. I started to feel anger.
But I’m thankful that change has happened and is happening. I remember going to tour Old Trafford with him. I remember watching Manchester United play at Old Trafford together. I remember this Christmas break when we went for a day out walking. I remember when we had a nice little conversation then.
And I, I look forward to more. I want to make those memories. I want my memories with my dad to be filled with adventures together, with laughter, with good conversations, with love.
So… daddy, if you’re reading this, we will make those memories 🙂
Back to the Father’s heart, He is one who carries me close to his heart (Isaiah 40:11).
Can’t you feel, the arms of the Father around you?
Can’t you feel, the love of the Father washing over you?
I am loved.
Indeed, I am loved.