My last Bling conference (Greater Things) for the foreseeable future was nothing sort of breathtaking. Even right now, a day after Bling, my mind is whirring. My heart is light. My physical being, however, is shattered. Aches, weariness, and a touch of irritability to round it off. Oops.
But yes, back to Bling.
Even in the run-up to Bling, I’ve been learning to press in for more of Him. To commit time to seeking Him daily. And it’s made all the difference. There was expectation. I was closer to Him then I ever was. I was ready. …Nah, I wasn’t. How can I ever be ready for all the crazy plans He has for me? 😉
Conference kicked off on Friday evening with Ps Sophia. The one thought that arrested me was: Do you dare to dream?
People have asked me what my dream(s) is/are or what my vision for my faith journey is and I’ve honestly struggled to answer that. What I have said was that I know my past season was one of seeking, of learning to sit at the feet of Jesus, of knowing Him. A couple of weeks ago, I asked for a new vision/dream and what I received in turn was an image.
Think American football with the full kit – helmet and all. It’s just the Father and I, helmet to helmet, on the field. Helmets clashed together in a huddle. All I hear Him say is: “It’s just you and me. You and me.”
It’s a new season of teaming up with my Father. It’s time to step out; it’s time to go. It’s not that there’s no dream; it’s whether I dare to dream of the greater things. Letting fear, letting my trying to keep everyone happy… things that have led me to forget how to dream, to hide away the dream. (Isaiah 61)
12 Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. 13 And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. 14 You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.
John 14:12-14 (NIV)
Dream again, dream big. Do not be afraid to ask. It is time. You are born again for greater things.
Sudden random thought in that meeting as well that it might not be just Cambodia… that I’ve got to dream bigger. Hmm.
What is that dream that scares you?
Who am I to say no? Who am I to say no when He lives in me?
It’s time to make a move. To stop hogging the top of the slide (inside reference – Ps Sophia had a slide onstage to help illustrate her points. Yes she went on the slide as well :P).
Let intimacy with God ignite the dreams. To hear His heartbeat – I’ve always prayed that… but only when Sophia illustrated it onstage, listening to Glyn’s (standing in to act as God in her analogy) heartbeat with her head against his chest, did I realise how close I’d be to be able to hear the Father’s heartbeat. Woah.
Not just a world of opportunities, but a promise of INEVITABILITIES with the Father.
Stepping out of the comfort zone, to move beyond the paralysis “at the top of the slide”… here we go!
That my life will speak of You. That I will carry the aroma of the knowledge of God. That people see my good deeds and praise my Father in heaven.
Again with Sophia on Saturday morning, it was quite a similar premise to her sermon previously on The Grass is Greener.
Basically, to love your life. To realise that where you are at right now, it’s the best place to be. Because He is Emmanuel (God with us). Any place where He is? It’s a good place. It’s a place of breakthrough.
Life stories session was story after story from women of faith and God’s hand in their lives – conquering addiction, overcoming past struggles/hurts, standing up from under sickness.
Loved how we got to pray for Michelle S via Facetime even as she was in isolation in the hospital. We got to stream Sunday service to her as well, which was top! 🙂
But yes, nearing the end of Life Stories, I was captured by a vision. A vision of sitting down with the people I hold dear to finally come clean about the hurts and the struggles. To rip off the band-aids. To expose the wounds. But above all, to share my journey of healing so far. To show them how I’ve grown through all of it, to share how the Father had carried me through it all.
Honestly, I am still afraid. I fear that once all of this passes and we finally come face to face again… I will be paralysed. Yet again. Paralysed in my fear of upsetting people, of hurting people, of messing up the status quo.
But someone needs to make a move.
And it’s got to be me.
Rounded off the conference with Ps Russell Evans (Planetshakers Australia) in the evening.
Even during worship, the dreams surged forth. The dream of having those conversations. The dream of getting baptised together with them.
Ps Russell preached on the daughter’s heart. How we tend to still live with the heart of an orphan even though we’ve been given access to have a daughter’s heart.
What if you lived with no fear?
He shared a powerful analogy of how he held his newborn child and could not help but shed a tear. Even though the baby could do nothing, could not achieve anything at that stage in life… He was overcome with love for his child. How much more does the Father love us?
True disability is allowing fear to grip us and to allow it to stop us from immersing ourselves completely in His love.
A Father’s heart is always for his child to do even greater things – with the heart of a daughter.
I know it might be a bit all over the place. But well, welcome to my mind. Hopefully something in this knotted mess will help you on your journey as well 🙂