My days are becoming rather regular.
Get up and have breakfast while watching a video.
Then study till 12/1pm depending on how focused/quick I am.
Another video or two with lunch.
Video and dinner.
More internet scouring with interspersed studying.
Maybe a snack if I get hungry.
Get up and let the cycle begin again.
I think it’s a good thing, this regularity.
For a person who embraces spontaneity, I like structure in my life. More so recently I think.
Much like how I order the same sub all the time at Subway, so much so that the Subway staff know my order by heart. Yes, even the salad picks and my cup of tea. Sometimes, I don’t even have to speak lol.
Regularity brings to mind discipline for some reason. Maybe because it’s sticking to structure, sticking to plan, sticking to a schedule. Not like I’ve planned this out on purpose, it just happened.
But I like it though. Saves me the trouble of planning.
Took some time out to watch the tree outside my window sway in the breeze. How the branches sway differently. How the breeze sends little ripples through them.
Turned my eyes up. Cloudy day today with little pockets of blue. Clouds gliding by. It’s alright, we’ve had sun the last couple of days. People doing BBQs and kicking about and sitting on the grass outside with crates of beer. It was a good amount of sun for Manchester.
I feel my heart rate slow. My being at rest. And I think to myself, I feel…at peace. For these next few moments, I’m at peace.
We should all do this once a day really. Turn off the music, ignore the phone, and just… chill for a few moments. To be still. To do nothing. You don’t have to think even, or feel.
Just feel yourself taking in every breath. And exhaling. Sense the entirety of your being – head to toe. And you don’t have to feel anything, not emotionally anyway. Let the quiet fill the spaces.
After a while, you’ll feel the joy. Well, at least I did. In the form of this silly grin plastered across my face. Joy against happiness. Joy is in spite of any circumstances, good or bad. You just are full of joy. In this moment, you know you don’t need anything to happen to be joyful. You can just be.
I don’t know. It’s strange. I probably will look back on this and think, “Was I high or something?” Haha, we’ll see.
But yeah, it’s a good day and I’m glad you’re having a good day too.