up on a hill.

Day 2 of Operation Revision

I still haven’t found my mojo yet, or my zone for that matter. Zone being my optimum studying capabilities – when I can just sit for hours and power through revision plugged in to music. But nowadays, I’ve been distracted.

Distracted. That word’s been like the description of my existence for the recent months I think. Need to re-focus…

I’ve got this idea that exercise will be my re-focusing strategy over summer. That I’ll run/cycle regularly. But we all know how that always ends up hahaha. Maybe for the first week. Or two if I’m good. Not really sure what I’m planning to do over summer actually – people to meet definitely (family, bros, soccer, friends, __ etc), Bangkok trip…

(yes, zhit I still remember our day of indulgence we’ve got planned! Prata, curry, teh tarik, coffee here we come!)

Just laughing at the realisation that I’ve been doing so many exam-unrelated things: packing clothes (already!), planning my meals for the next 21 days so that my groceries will be just right (okay this is quite sensible), planning moving out/packing with A and C (yeah this is reasonable as well), videos, music, dreaming about summer etc. Yeah you get the idea. Sudden epiphany: maybe I should meet people I don’t usually meet up. I mean, people I call friends but we don’t hang out that much. Hmm… idea.

Did I mention my really really weird dream last night? …this morning actually, since I slept at 3. Yeah my sleep cycle is messed as well. But back to the dream… It was really weird and stressful actually – fighting pigs and mud and biomechanics. Yup I warned you about weird. I distinctly remember the huge pigs, maybe because of that video I watched. This one actually.

Think the baby goat was trying to tenderise the bacon or something haha! But yeah, the pigs in my dream were that BIG. And muddy. And I had to wrestle them as I went down a slope in a barn-like place. It was weird. And I had to do a lot of biomechanics practice papers. And I had to escape from a ship, a bit like Poseidon not Titanic. It was stressful. And the fact that I actually remember my dream is weird enough as it is. Hmm. But still goes with the pattern that my dreams tend to have a very cinematic feel.

Looking back at today… which wasn’t a really long day anyway since I woke up at 11… it was kinda good. Revised ankle-foot orthoses (AFOs) and brachial plexus orthoses, watched 2 football matches, did some exercise and got my groceries delivered. Pretty good! Although I probably spent like 90min max on revision today. Hahaha 90min, definitely watching too much football these days!

Stared out of the window for a bit, watching the daylight leave gradually as the skies turn a darker shade of blue, heralding the arrival of night. Haven’t actually done that in a while. Letting the mind wander with the lyrics of whatever song’s playing.

Miss just lying on the floor at home and playing with Kody. Miss just randomly going for a walk in the park and looking at the greens and blues.

Maybe I’ll go wander when I’m back in Singapore. Should be good fun.

Wait a minute, nothing I wrote links to ‘up on a hill.’. Why did I put that there in the first place?

Oh right, it feels like that sometimes. That I’m up on a hill.

Like all 闭关修炼…

Loner alert? Nah, not really.

Just escaping from the world.

Needs a drink again.

Sometimes I think I do have a lot of self-control. If I did drink every single time I felt like it… I’d probably be an alcoholic. Haha.

It’s probably because I like chilling too much. Hm.


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