Joy?

For a while today I think I felt joy.
Joy.
Like joy that truly emanates from within.
Happiness despite circumstances that are truly crappy,
but for that one moment,
for that one thing,
you are happy.

(oh and that one thing: getting a call from TTSH HR about them receiving my scholarship application and them sounding quite happy about it; I mean what’s all the joy about man?!)

(but all I remember was jumping around crazily and joyously in my room singing ‘givin’ it all away~’ with the windows open and knowing that the whole neighbourhood could see me)

I thank the God that blesses me in full knowledge of who I am and what I’ve done. That He chose to set me apart even though He is the big I AM. That He stooped down to make me great.

I would never understand, and now I don’t think I ever want to. I think that’s the…(could I say…) the romantic side to the whole thing about God. I mean… To give up everything to become nothing for people who were nothing and to make them into something because to Him, we are everything.

And shouldn’t that knowledge spur a love, rational or irrational, for the God that humbled Himself to rescue us from sin and ourselves?

And shouldn’t that lead to a life that is saturated with hunger and devotion to He who loved us first?

I am still learning,
as we all are.
And once again, isn’t it lovely how He loves us so.
even when we could never learn to love Him like He loves us

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